Temperance XIV
Next on our Tarot card learning adventure we are going to talk about, Temperance. I wanted to do something a little different this time and use the card as a platform to talk about a slightly more serious topic, depression. If I were to pick a card to represent depression, it would be Temperance. If you look up the definition of Temperance it talks about moderation and abstinence (it also talks about abstaining from food and alcohol, which isn't really my thing because I love both alas, moderation is key). With depression, sometimes you do everything you can to abstain from it. Some of us fight until we have no fight left. What would happen if we stopped fighting our demons? What if we found a way to find some form of sacred balance between our light and dark self? Stick with me, because I think we can use the Tarot as a tool to achieve this almost impossible task.
A little bit about me and how I relate to this topic: I have had depression since I was a kid. I have struggled with trying to find balance within myself for many years and continue to struggle, but am getting much better at it. I like to think I am at a point now where most days are better than others, but I still feel depression's claws fogging up my mind on a fairly regular basis. Right before I get depressed, I find myself unable to make the simplest of decisions, like 'what to make for supper' or the question 'what do you want to do' almost always gives me hives at the thought. Then I start to feel cold both mentally and physically. I am not sure about you, but to me it literally feels like you're sitting at the beach having a fabulous time, you're getting some sun (or if you are me, hiding the the shade to protect your corpse like pallor), eating some delicious picnic snacks, checking out all the hot people at the beach, they're checking you out, its fabulous and BAM the fog is rolling in to ruin a perfect Summer's day. That's what my depression feels like. I am always curious how others can feel their depression coming on and how they cope.
A couple of things help me cope: First and foremost my husband, friends and family. I am lucky because I have some wonderful people in my life that I can rely on when I need a pick me up, support or simply a hug. Most of us are blessed with having some pretty wonderful people in our lives. We shouldn't be afraid to talk to them about our problems. Another big thing for me, especially where I feel like getting slightly personal tonight is the Occult. It has always been a big part of my life. Studying Tarot, Magick, etc. is a wonderful distraction from reality, plus if you are serious and can find some virgins to throw in a volcano, the Occult will also give you magick powers!- I joke. Or do I? ;) Last but not least I have had some pretty great counselors along the way. I am a bit of a pusher of the whole idea of talking to someone about your illness. Believe me, I know its really hard to put it out there, but if you get lucky with a good counselor or doctor, they might just give you some great coping advice. They probably wont cure you or make rainbows come out of your butthole, but they could give you a key to help live a better life. To me that is worth all the butthole rainbows in the world.
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| Possible butthole rainbow. |
Now, what does all of this have to do with our most beloved, most fantastic and mystical Tarot? If you look at the Temperance card above, you will see an Angel (cool fact: this Angel is the child of Aphrodite and Hermes and is a hermaphrodite, again we have that balance between male and female) balancing between water and land. That's kind of what living with depression is like. We balance between what we feel inside and how we must conduct ourselves on the outside. The trick to balance is to not fight and pull between both sides. Find yourself somewhere in the middle. The Tarot is FULL of imagery to help you get yourself in that comfy middle . There are pillars, dual sided beasts, figures balancing between water and land, people hanging balanced from trees, you get the picture, its like gymnastics, if it had a flair for the mystical. If I really feel like I need a distraction, I will go through my deck and pull every card I can find that shows me balance. Then I meditate on them, write about them, telling their stories in my journals. Its surprising how a mood can change when you are constantly looking at images that foster a healthier mind. I believe anyone can use Tarot to help them cope with the different things life likes to throw our way. Here are a couple of ways you can use Tarot to help you with depression (it should never be in place of professional assistance):
- Journal prompts- need to get something out of your brain and on to paper? Pull a card and write about how it relates to how you are feeling.
- Need something to meditate on? Check out the High Priestess, The Star, Temperance, The Chariot or the Hierophant (just a few- see if you can find some more) to put the image of balance into your mind. Remember it is 100% okay to feel shitty. Own those dark feelings just like you do the good ones!
- Use it like a picture book. Go through the cards one at a time and use them as distraction.
- Play a Tarot version of Where's Waldo as a way to get your mind off a panic attack- I use this one a lot! Take each card and see if you can find little hidden symbols. The Tarot is ripe with all kinds of hidden imagery. I have been doing this for years and still find new things each time. This is great because it helps get my anxiety at bay and I am learn something new about Tarot. Win, win baby and I am all about that!
- Find a card that makes your heart feel happy and one that upsets you. Focus on the polarizing feelings and how each card makes you feel. Write about it in a journal or book of shadows about how your body reacts to the positive card and why it reacts to the negative image. Do you think you could figure out why you are reacting that way?
Temperance's Lesson: A Meditation
Get comfy. Relax. Breathe. All that good stuff.
Picture yourself walking along a beautiful seaside path. The sun is shining and it's rays feel just right on your skin. The air smells salty and the wind is warm against your face. You can hear the waves crashing on the beach. You are walking along a trail weaving you around giant sand dunes. You can hear gulls in the distance but no people. You are alone but find company in the gulls. As you walk you are thinking of all the happy moments in life. Your family, loved ones, your pets. You are blissfully counting your blessings. You get a little extra pep in your step and are feeling excited and happy for the future. At this time you feel that nothing could go wrong in the world.
Then as quickly as that thought crosses your mind, the air turns cold. Your friend and guide, the sun hides behind large dark storm clouds. Suddenly the sound of the sea goes from a calming rhythm to a menacing reminder that there are forces so much bigger than you. The gulls disappear and now you feel very alone. You continue along your path as fog rolls in off the now black water that you catch glimpses of between the dunes. The dunes are no longer gentle mounds of sand, now they are large mountains, impossible to climb. You begin to hurry. You want away from this place.
In your hurry you reach a stream that cuts between the path. In the middle of the stream stands a beautiful, glowing angel. He is huge. His wings are bright red and feathered like a cardinal. He has a golden aura that shines brilliantly from around the crown of his head. One of his perfect feet is resting in the stream while the other is sitting comfortably on the land. Between his hands he is pouring water from one cup into another. He stops and looks at you. Never losing his footing or spilling the contents the chalices. He is surprised by your panic and need to get away from the stormy water. He does not speak but in your mind you hear him. He asks you why you are so keen to run away. Why you will not stay at the beach. It is still a Summer's day, is it not? He asks you. Through your mind's eye he shows you that without the dark days we would never appreciate the light. You must love your darkness. You must find comfort within it. Otherwise he says, you will never truly appreciate the brilliant glow of the light when you do not know what the darkest night feels like. The angel motions for you to join him in the water. You put one foot into the cool streaming water, he hands you two chalices of your own. You hold them high to the rainclouds. Urging them to fill your cups, so you too can balance between the light and the dark.
When you are ready, bring yourself out of the meditation and back into real life.
That ends our little adventure into Temperance. I feel that I have gotten more personal than I ever had planned too but I must admit, I feel much better. Take some time to get to know Temperance. I think you will like this card! Until our next adventure I bid us Northern Hem. folks happy Spring and you fine Southern Hem. folks a happy Fall! I celebrated Ostara this year by planting some pumpkin, corn and cucumber seeds. I planted these on March 21st and took this picture yesterday on the 27th. Look at those little buddies grow!
